Even in case you’re being hosted, you must nonetheless attain to your pockets.
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@GrumpyNBAWatcher asks: Members at a membership close to me count on friends to choose up caddie and cart charges for themselves and their hosts. I hear that many friends additionally decide up the complete price of rounds and pay for every thing at member-guest occasions. What’s the widespread observe?
Expensive Grumpy:
Within the Etiquetteist’s egalitarian utopia, there could be no such factor as a non-public golf membership. Tee occasions at Cypress Point and Augusta National could be accessible on-line, placing gamers of all stripes on the identical footing, and eliminating any awkward dynamics between “host” and “visitor.”
Wouldn’t that be good?
Meantime, in the actual world, you pose an inexpensive query.
As in a lot of etiquette, the reply relies upon partly on the connection between the events. If host and visitor are shut buddies, as an example, with a historical past of beneficiant backwards and forwards, the expectation is that nobody is conserving rating, and the chances are high that the host will cowl charges, with the implicit understanding that every thing evens out in the long term. There is likely to be a dialog about prices, however it might be temporary. “You may decide up dinner someday,” could be the gist. It’s known as “friendship” for a cause.
When the host-guest relationship is totally different, different nuances come into play. Let’s say the events aren’t buddies however colleagues or unfastened acquaintances. As a visitor in such conditions, etiquette suggests that you just discover a quiet second along with your host and supply to cowl all of your charges. Take nothing without any consideration. It’s attainable that your supply shall be accepted.
However the odds are higher that your host will wave you off and let you know to not fear in regards to the prices. Ought to that occur, your subsequent well mannered transfer is to suggest a compromise and supply to choose up the caddie fees for each of you. Whereas this supply is extra more likely to be accepted, there’s nonetheless a very good probability that your host will stand agency and demand on masking every thing. That’s your cue to let issues lie. No have to push the difficulty any additional.
Which doesn’t imply there’s nothing else that you are able to do.
If this can be a member-guest event, with, say, aspect bets and closest-to-the-pin prizes, you might — and may — decide up any related prices. Identical if there are pay-to-play hole-in-one giveaways or different competitions which can be generally a part of personal membership occasions. As a visitor, masking charges for these little extras is least you are able to do.
There are additionally methods to specific your gratitude later. With a thank-you card, as an example and a pleasant bottle of wine or a field of golf balls. In the event you’re a member of a membership your self, a reciprocal invitation makes excellent sense (except, after all, the 2 of you’ve come to a mutual understanding, after one spherical collectively, that you just by no means wish to play in one another’s firm once more). To cite Hannibal Lecter, quid professional quo.
One of the simplest ways to play golf, after all, is with individuals whose firm you take pleasure in, and with out strings connected. Most of the time, that’s how issues work out. Most members of golf equipment who’re beneficiant sufficient to have you ever as a visitor aren’t working with a hidden agenda. Their expectation is that you just costume appropriately, behave like an grownup and luxuriate in your self.
Now there’s a super nicely inside attain.
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